Sunday, October 25, 2009

The noise of chaos..

How would you define chaos? Is it something that occurs in your house everyday?

It does in mine. Kahleb having meltdowns, and Ryan and Isaac fighting every waking hour. I sometimes have to cover my ears because there is so much noise going on, it makes me head pound.

I had to run to my room to enjoy some quietness, and of course update my blog, which seems like it gets neglected.

We have less than 10 weeks left, and it is going by oh so fast. Of course I dont expect to go to 40wks, considering that I have gone earlier each time. Hopefully this time, I wont go that early. And if so I sure hope it dont hurt my classes... lol. I guess that sounds a bit funny, and probably shows my dedication to school. Kahleb came 4 wks early.. and if this little guy follows anything like that, thats 6 wks left.. and that leaves me to say HOLY SHIT! < Yes, thats a curse word. We have nothing, well we will after next week, but we still dont even have a name not even an ideal of a name. *sigh* Tommy has been no help, and every name he has said was bizarre.

Isaac and Ryan is doing pretty good with school. They are their usual selfs, making me nuts..

Everything else is well the same.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Its humpday, so it will start going back down right?

I figure we are at the peak of the week, and it has to settle down some.. right?

I feel like I am already drained this week. Isaac has been acting strange this past week, typically he listens, and yeah has a couple meltdowns. However, he still acts fairly good, for being 3. This week has been a fight with him, down to getting clothes on. Hopefully this is just a weekly phase, and he will be back to himself. :P

Kahleb of course is into everything. No is No, but he thinks No means test mommy anyway ;). We are working together, its really hard to stay consistent with him, he either gives this sad cry, or this super duper adorable heart melting smile, and how could you say no? Or when he just throws himself into your arms, and hugs you, how could you say no? See even you couldnt say no.

Ryan has had his days, I think school is starting to catch up to him. Tommy and I were talking about putting them all down for a nap after school, instead of just Kahleb. I think their crankiness is what is the most bothersome. One day at a time.

This is new for all us really, I mean Ryan and Isaac are going to school. Ryan is going for a full day, and Isaac for a half. Meanwhile, Tommy is going to school too, and I am still going. All the while, we are living in a bit of a smaller house, which isnt really bothering me, less to clean. I wonder why people want such big houses lol. Seriously its easy to walk off the living room, and wash some clothes versus walking to the basement. And the living room is like a little bigger than our old bedroom, which makes for an easy clean-up too. The bathroom on the other hand, could gain some size, it is terribly small. Other than that, a month after the house burnt down, we are recovering well, and we are doing good. :)

And lastly but definatly not least important, little baby "r" is doing good. He has been actively moving quite a bit. I had a doctors appt on Tuesday, and he went ahead and checked the placenta and it has moved back up to where it belongs, therefore, I do not need a c-section. That is awesome news! I am over the top glad about that. The thought of being cut into scares me to pieces, so much just getting my tubes tied is a bit of a scary thought. I am very very thankful for that, I am glad that I wont be down for weeks in recovery, or that I wont have to go on bedrest. The sad fact is, I am a super busy person, and with 3 boys, I dont know how bed rest would have even been possible! But for now, that is not any concern and that is good news. And he still does not have a decided name.. And Tommys answer.. we have until December to decide!! He must not have gotten the memo that is like in 2 1/2 months! < Time flies!

All in all, everything is going good.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Life isnt always easy..

And there are definitely days where I want to give everything up, put everything down, and drive until I cant no more and hope that there is something better on the other side. Sadly I know there isnt something better over there. I know that I have a great life, however at times it does not feel like that.

I am exhausted. Im purely exhausted to the point of falling over and dying. Or thats how I feel.
Im sick of being pregnant, and I am not ready to have another child running around the house. I knew I was done yesterday, and I am not done because of the kids, more so, because I am absolutly a mean mean person while I am pregnant. When I was pregnant with Kahleb, I was terribly grouchy all the time, I didnt even want to be around myself, and it seems that I get worse each time. And to no suprise I am mean this time too! I can't stand myself. I can't stand the feelings I have, I can't stand how I act, how irritated things make me, which by the way, everything irritates me to no end. My husband makes me so nuts, my children doesnt make anything better.

School is tiring, I am attending 3 classes, and will have to do so next time. And next time it will be even worse because I have to attend an online class, which I never do great with! I mean for crying out loud I cant even get my dang homework done for my in class. My husband is gone for his job a lot, so I have to take care of Kahleb and then at noon, Isaac comes home, and my time is consumed with them. And then when I do, do my homework, I am being bothered!

Like earlier, I am doing homework, and math problems at that, and Kahleb is walking around me doing this screaming, because he wants everything that I have. If I tell him no, than he has a full meltdown, but yet still doesnt stop. All of these kids are just like their father, they want to push me and push me and push me, and then I finally break, and start yelling at them. I have homework to do, a report to study and start writing about, another study that I DO need to analyze, and study for a test, all by 5pm today, which it does not appear I will get all that done, because of course as soon as I pick up a textbook, I am getting bothered.

There is no tv to watch, so there isnt sticking a cartoon on so the children can watch it, while I get something done. No, its their up my butt all day everyday, unless they are sleeping. Kahleb is seriously a terrible one, he is into EVERYTHING! Into the trash. If I leave the computer he crawls to it and smacks it over and over. If I do laundry he comes over and throws the stuff everywhere. He throws his food all over the floor. He is into anything he isnt suppose to be in. And a simple stern "NO", gives him a meltdown, yet he gets right back up and does it all over again.

And lastly my frustrations with how this pregnancy is going to end, has me having anxiety. If the placenta previa doesnt fix itself, than I will have to have a c-section and more than likely go on bedrest. If I go on bedrest, than the house will be destroyed all the damn time, Tommy wont clean it, I mean crap I have to clean up after him all the dang time. He leaves stupid little things around, like a cheese wrapper on the counter, his clothes on the floor, sure that all seems little but remember there are 4 Tommys in the house, and all 4 of them do it, so I have to clean up after all of them and myself. Laundry would never get done, and I would be a serious mental basket. The thought of a c-section scares the friggin crap out of me, I dont want to be cut into, Ive never even been to a "real surgery" I had tubes in my ears when I was a baby, and I dont remember that, and then when I had a d&c, they put me out, but they didnt cut into me. I wont be able to do stuff for weeks, and then that will be much more added stress on me. I am starting to loose my optimism and really am thinking that its not going to move.

I will end this horribly long rant, sounding like I dont like life at this moment, with: Please God help our family through the tough, help me overcome my super grouchiness and be nice to my children for the remainder of my pregnancy.

I will end this with some cute pictures of the kids, and make ya smile after a depressing post.

A color collage I made

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Sunday, August 30, 2009

Dun dun Dun..

Wow, is it already almost September? That is nuts!

Lets see where do I even start?

Oh maybe the life changing event of our house burning down? Well there isn't really much to say other than I received a phone call while I was at Tommys parents house and he was at school, letting me know that our house was gone. Upon arriving, it was a mess.. Basically we were told it was an electrical fire; the electrical cord grounded out that went to the fridge.

We have been recovering from that. We are very thankful for everyone who has helped even if it was just a little. We couldn't have done it without them.

A week and half later everything is starting to settle out, which I will be so glad to get back to regular routine things, not that children are that regular or routine, so heck what am I saying?

Since we had another house, we moved into here, and practically remodeled it. We got new carpet, new doors, a new window (we still need 2 more), tiled the dining room, painted the boys' room. The house is smaller, but that should make it easier to clean.

We are handling very well. I once read that when things go wrong, everyone always looks at the negatives in the situation and never the positives. I have tried to look at the positives in this and not dwell on the negatives, if you let the negatives tear you down, then my boys will see us sad, and they will be sad. Instead of thinking of what I lost, and cant replace, I think of what I do have. We were not home and we are all safe, that is a very good thing. I DID have my laptop and my camera. Sure I lost many photos and prints, but I do have lots of photos. Sure I don't have any equipment but I still have the most important part. I can sit here all day and say all the things that I lost, but why? Why, let it bother me greatly, instead try to think forward and to the future.

Anyway enough of my mambo jumbo stuff that is being imprinted in me the more I go to school. Ryan and Isaac are doing really well. They love their room, its all decorated for them, and they have super cute beds, we bought them new bedding, so they like that. Ryan has adjusted from moving to the new school. I am extremely nervous for Isaac to go, he starts tomorrow hopefully that goes well.

Kahleb is growing so much; taking steps more often, and getting braver. I think since we got the carpet, that it has helped tremendously, since when he does fall it doesn't hurt. I love his smile and happiness, always so smiley. I also love watching him throw a little tantrum, its to cute, of course we just ignore it. This past week he has had a cold so he hasn't felt totally himself. Other than that everything is going great with my chunker.

The newest baby is doing well too. We had our level 2 ultrasound on Tuesday. He was measuring on the smaller side of the average for his age almost 15 ounces. The doctor did mention however that the placenta was really close to the cervix, although in technical terms in really means placenta previa, he did appear to have high hopes that it will move up by 28wks, if not than that could mean that I would have to have a c-section.. Which is a terrifying thought to me! On a good note he has been quite active this past week, which I always love feeling their movements.

Tommy and I are doing great! I am starting to get a cold, which just really sucks. And Tommy is getting over one. But all in all things are good for both of us, just been busy going to school full time.

.....Until Next Time....

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Expecting number 4...

Well, we are expecting number 4, in December. And the baby is all boy!!

So we will have a house full of boys.. Yippee for that.. lol

Just wanted to say that.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Everything is doing okay.

Just wanted to write and say everything is doing good.

Kahleb went to his yearly check up and he was 23 lbs and 10 oz, and 30 inches long. My how he has grown. Here the past couple days he will take stand up by himself, and yesterday he took a couple steps by himself, so he is def. getting more brave.

Ryan and Isaac are doing good. Isaac went to his dentist, he got a clean bill of health on all teeth. Ryan starts school soon, and I couldn't be more happy about that. Other than that, they have been doing the same ol, same ol. Fighting all the time, beating each other up and what not.

Tommy and I are good, I suppose. He is pretty busy working all the time, so I dont really see all to much. Right now we are on break from school, and when school comes, we will be very exhausted, with all two days of no school. I know I am taking 1 more credit than full time, and that might pose to be hard. But I can do it.

Thats pretty much it.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

It really has been that long... WoW.

I haven't posted in 3 months, I cant believe it.

KAHLEB IS A YEAR OLD NOW! And just on Sunday, his very first tooth broke through, wow this is exciting. We didn't do much for his birthday, we just enjoyed cupcakes with him, and took his pictures while he made a mess. He is not walking yet. No biggie there though, he does however walk with you with only one hand, so he is def. getting ready to take off. Oh and he will push and walk around with the boys' tricycle. For a bit now he has been saying "daddy". Its adorable. Other than, nothing really new, says words here and there, and does cute little things that his mommy cant resist.

Ryan is starting school in a couple weeks, I FREAKING CANT WAIT. I am excited, but I will also enjoy my semi-quiet time while he is gone. He def. is our hyper kid that talks 100 mph, goes on and on and on.. and now your dizzy. We get to go school shopping next week. My first time actually going school shopping, so cool.

Isaac is doing pretty good. Nothing new really. He has a dentist check-up today, his very first, so thats a bit nervous, since he seems to clam around strangers, I hope that goes well.

Basically everything is going okay. There are bad days and there are good days, but speaking of that dentist appt I have to get him and myself ready to go. Ta-Ta until the next blog.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Holy Moly, he pulls up.

And holy moly it has been a long time.

Ive been so busy with work, it has consumed me. I do love my job, just hate the neglect of my sassy girls. ;) I have been working almost every day, and working short and long hours, and when I am not working I am spending time with Tommy, since he is on a layoff for a month. He has been working on his excavating business and it is going really well. He is getting his name out there and he is drawing in business, so that is exciting. I have no really had any time to do anything with my photography. I know I need to order me a couple different things, I just haven't had the time to do so. Oh where to start on the updates...

Hmm.. Tommy and I got more pets. I bought 2 finch birds, they are so cute. I use to have these birds when I was younger, when I lived with my dad, and I liked them then too. I remember having one that was tame enough my dad would handle it. He loved that little bird. Oh how I miss him so. Oh and Tommy bought some Rabbits for the boys, a black and white one, female and male. On the way home they bred, so it looks like we will be having baby rabbits in about 2 weeks.

Little bit had a baby yesterday. A little filly, sure is a cute thing. Tommy went and held her and petted her until the mini horse started to be a butt, and causing trouble.

Kahleb pulled himself up in the play pen yesterday AND then he started to walk around, and did a whole lap around it. I was amazed, I got pics just haven't gotten them loaded. He is 9 months old today, and I just cant believe he has gotten so big, it is unreal. He walks everywhere in his walker, he loves it, because he can just go go go. He also crawls everywhere, he gets up on all 4s, but when he wants to go fast, he drops back down and does his super low crawl.

Ryan and Isaac, had a great Easter. Since we are not to big into the Easter bunny stuff, my mom played Easter bunny and they stayed there that weekend. We had an Easter dinner there, it was nice. Isaac is talking more and more everyday. I THINK (I said I **think**) he fusses a little less, now that he can communicate, but then again I have been working and Tommy has been taking him with him everywhere, so maybe I *think* that because he has not been around me that much. LOL

My brother just turned 25... Wow where does the time go. I cant believe it, half way to 50, and almost to 30. He'd kill me if he knew I said that, LOL. He doesn't like that he is getting older. He is doing okay.

Oh and we got some male llamas, and the one male llama spits... Ewwww.. And he has no fear. This shall pose interesting out at the farm.

We are going fishing tomorrow night, I do believe. Hopefully it stays nice and warm. Although it is suppose to rain this weekend- boo to that!

Anyway I need to get some cleaning done.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Look at him swim.

Its been a long week.

Last Sunday, We all headed to my hotel, and peaked around the town a bit, before relaxing and then going swimming that night. I started training for my job the next day, and they all went home as well. It was a long week, and quite fun. I enjoyed work, I got home, and then I would relax a bit watching tv before passing out. Tommy came back Monday night, with Kahleb. We went to the pool and swam, and got into the hot tub before bedtime, to relax. By Wednesday, my tatas were exploding from not nursing. I had to get into the hot tub, to ease a little, it didnt really help though.

Both nights Kahleb got into the pool, and I thought for sure he would scream because it wouldnt be warm enough, alas He loved it! Splashing around, kicking his feet. He didnt even care to splash himself.

Friday, I checked out that morning, and came home after training. I work all this coming week, but all from home. And then the following 2 weeks, I will be working a normal schedule. Its only a temp. job, but its perfect for now. I got to Tommys parents that night, and the boys were very excited to see me! Ryan told me he missed me like 5 times, and Isaac even repeated after him and said it. Kahleb was all smiles :). Always makes ya feel good.

We came home yesterday. We gave Ryan his birthday present, which he LOVES! It has been keeping him and Isaac busy while Tommy, puts the new engine in the back hoe. I need to clean today, so that way its done before I have to work this week, and I can focus on work, and not cleaning.

Pics from the week. Dont mind the horrible quality (total phone pics)

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Video:

Monday, March 2, 2009

It made him happy, and thats all that matters.

Everything is going alright around here. Quite a bit of stuff to talk and update about, get it into print.

Firstly, the kids.

Ryan is doing good, as usual, still going to school. He enjoys playing in nickjr.com, and playing Candy-Land. He also enjoys Disney movies, and loves to hug and kiss his parents (grand as well). His birthday is coming up and he is getting very excited about that, he is going to be a big Ol 5, I cant believe it. Makes me want to cry! We got him a trampoline, with an enclosed cage, I cant wait to see the look on his face, he loves to jump (as well as Isy).

Isaac is doing great, he is like 95% potty trained. He hates putting a diaper on at night or even nap for that matter. When he has an accident, he has a breakdown, so we are sure to let him know its okay. He is starting to talk, really well, and mocks everything you say (or trys). I don't think there is a word he wouldn't say, or at least try. He is still very particular about certain things and doing things in a very routinely manner, such as earlier, he didn't put his coat on upon getting out of the Van, well he got out and Tommy didn't know what he was saying carried him on the porch, where he proceeded to have a meltdown, and he wanted his coat, and he needed to pee, BUT he wanted his coat first, so he peed on himself, and then Tommy carried him screaming inside stripped his pants and underwear off, and he had a meltdown in the bathroom. I had to go in there, and help him out, and he wanted dressed, and kept telling me what I thought was coat. So I got him all dressed, and he got his shoes on, all the while still having a partial meltdown. I carried him to the car, where he got his coat on, to come inside and take it off. < It made him happy, and thats all that matters. Not sure if I've mentioned before but he has a VERY high pitch scream, and he screams and pouts about a lot of stuff. I am very used to meltdowns of this nature, he needs things to be in order, and done a certain way or he gets very upset.

Kahleb is doing great as well. He is crawling EVERYwhere!! He is into everything. We are still taking it slow on feeding solids, and giving juice. I offered some juice tonight, and he didn't really care for it. As far as solids, he takes a couple bites and then he is done, and he makes some hilarious faces in the process as well. He started reaching for people now to be held, melts my heart! I have been using the play pen AKA "the jail" (LoL) Especially when I need to sweep/mop/vacuum. We have been slowly weaning him off the breast AKA "the nana". He is doing really well, he mainly just wants me when he wants to sleep, that is his comfort, so we are working on it.

Tommy is well, Tommy. :) Sexy as AlWaYs! LoL. He is still fighting about the backhoe, and dealing with the renters. The renter from our house is gone and moved out, thanks to a little trick we pulled out of our hats. Now my moms renters are suppose to be moving out, or be out by tomorrow since they have yet to pay as well, and then we are done with the whole renting thing. We are going to fix up our house and sell it. We was going going to use it as my studio, but the town the house is located in, is being assholes! They are trying to make us pay the renters past due water bill.. And that's not flying. We spoke with a lawyer, and we are following his advice, and then we will proceed to suing him. We are in the process of dealing with the lawyer with the whole backhoe deal. I wont speak to much details until we are done.

Me ... Well I start my job on Monday, or start training for my job. I will be staying at a hotel for 5 days Woooohooo. I am excited but at the same time am very nervous. I wont see Kahleb from Monday morning till Friday night, and makes me very sad. He is my baby, and it will be very very hard. They are going to all stay with me on Sunday night, and we will enjoy the time in the hotel and go swimming and stuff. The town is really pretty and off the river. I may break my shell and get out and go take photos, or I should say that I HOPE I do, great photo potentials there.

Anyway Heres some pics. :)

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Getting under the table, being naughty.
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Cheesy Smile

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